WWED
by loser in the gutter
Summary: what would Ed do if he came into my room one day? and... what if it was on a day where i was typing a drabble? now a royed song fic collection!
1. enter ed

W.W.E.D. is **W**hat **W**ould **E**d **D**o. And it's cool that the last letters are ED. Haha.

This was inspired by Fae Elric! Yay her for inspiring me!

**3333333333333333**

Dolly Rose, A.K.A. Loser in the Gutter, sat down on her floor to write again. She was sure that all her beloved reviewers were soon gonna ditch her if she didn't update soon, so she had to get right down to work. As her fingers went over the keys, she felt a cold breeze on her shoulder. Now, living with ghosts she was used to it, (A/N yes I do indeed have ghosts in my house.) but the feeling was different than before.

Dolly closed her laptop and looked out the window. She cursed her parents for making the family move to such a freaky forest area, got up and closed the curtains even more.

"Damn this sucks." said a voice from behind her. Dolly screamed and fell on her bed. She stupidly grabbed a pillow to protect herself.

"Who," she managed to get out. "Who… are you?"

"What?" the blonde at her laptop turned around. "You write enough about me. And you don't recognize me? Damn."

Dolly's jaw dropped as her brain started to work. '_Ed… this is Ed. Oh, My, God. It's Ed._' "OH MY GOD YOU'RE ED!!!" Dolly screamed and let out a fan-girl squeal. Ed flung a shoe at the noisy brunette.

"Damn, you need to shut up." He turned back to the computer. "Why are you writing these? I mean, why the hell would I do… OH MY… MUSTANG DID **_WHAT_** TO ME?" Ed's eyes widened as he read Dolly's latest "From Pickles to Sunsets" drabble. Dolly blushed and walked up behind Ed.

"Ya, well… I… I'm not the only one!" Dolly snatched her precious laptop away from the alchemist and minimized the word document. She double clicked on the internet symbol and it went to the yahoo page. Ed's face scrunched in confusion, but Dolly kept going. She clicked on favorites, and then clicked on her link.

The page replaced the yahoo one, and Dolly went to her favorites. There lay tons of amazing authors. '_But which one should I show Ed?_' Dolly thought to herself. Meanwhile, Ed was still trying to remember the girl's fucking name… '_it was Dilly, right?'_ Dolly eventually decided on… Shingo-sama's page (check it out).

When the page came up, Dolly, being the proud person that she is, happily showed Ed how much people like RoyEd stuff.

"See!" she bragged. "I am just **ONE** of **MILLIONS** of girls, and guys, who love you and Roy as a couple." Dolly huggled Ed. "Now, are you still pissed at me?" Dolly looked into Ed's golden orbs with her own blue ones. Ed sighed.

"That's not it." He said flatly. Dolly cocked her head in confusion. "Your story is so pointless."

'_Oh no you did not just go there.'_ Dolly thought, anger rising.

"You suck as a writer."

"WHO YOU CALLIN' A HORRIBLE, PREP WHO COULD'NT WRITE A STORY IF HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT???" Dolly shouted at the older (A/N Yes. Ed is older than I) teen.

"Damn. All I'm saying is… here. Just let me do the next one, 'kay?" Ed looked at Dolly with cute eyes. Dolly wished her camera wasn't lost in her messy room.

"Fine." Dolly sighed and gave the laptop to the Elric. He quickly began typing her next RoyEd drabble.

**33333333333333333**

Whatever could it be? I don't know! (Haha, I have a secret! I have a seeeecret!)


	2. black parade

**Edward Elric here! Just wanted to give you some better stuff than that crap that Dolly was giving you. But then she got this major puppy face. Damn, she's just like Al. Anyway, she made me give back her laptop. BUT I am telling her what to type. But I think she's not exactly getting everything because she's so fucking slow! HA! So here's a little… what do you call 'em? Ficlets? Poems? Whatever. **

**Oh, and I think I'll let her do it now… I wanna go see Roy!**

**Dolly: ooo!**

**Ed: SHUP!**

**Dolly: have fun!**

**Ed: GAH! **

**XxxxxxxxxXXXXxXxxxxxxxxxXXXXxxxxxxX**

_When I was a young boy my father_

_took me into the city_

_to see a marching band_

_He said 'Son when you grow up,_

_would you be, the savior of the broken,_

_the beaten and the damned?'_

_He said 'Will you, defeat them,_

_your demons, and all the non-believers,_

_the plans that they have made?_

_Because one day I'll leave you_

_a phantom to lead you in the summer_

_to join the Black Parade.'_

My father would never approve of him; he's a male for Pete's sake. But I don't really care. My father never really stuck around long enough to get to know me anyway.

_WHEN I WAS A YOUNG BOY,_

_MY FATHER TOOK ME INTO THE CITY_

_TO SEE A MARCHING BAND!_

_HE SAID 'SON WHEN YOU GROW UP,_

_WOULD YOU BE, THE SAVIOUR OF THE BROKEN,_

_THE BEATEN AND THE DAMNED?!'_

But I always felt his presence pushing me. Like I needed it; I've got the best support a guy could ask for. My lover…

_Sometimes I get the feeling_

_She's watching over me_

_And other times I feel like I should go_

_And through it all; the rise and fall,_

_the bodies in the streets_

_And when you come we watch you want to know_

But I fee like he might leave me, because this war is going on. I don't want him to go; I need him here with me. I want him here with me.

_We'll carry on_

_We'll carry on_

_and though you're singing, god believe me_

_Your memory will carry on_

_You'll carry on_

_And in my heart I can't contain it_

_The end of world is waiting._

He says that even if he _does_ go, I should be sad. I'm too old for tears, anyway. But I can't bare the thought of being without him. But I need to hang onto the memories that I _do_ have, even if they are few and far between.

_Your romances you reel in from decimated dreams_

_Your misery and hate will kill us all!_

_So paint it black and take it back_

_And let's shout aloud at prayer!_

_Defy unto the end we hear the call!_

I hope they can forgive me, for all that I have done to them. The lies, the fake smiles… I can't bare to look them in the eyes. Dammit, why did HE have to go?

_So carry on_

_We'll carry on_

_and though you're singing, god believe me_

_Your memory will carry on_

_And carry on_

_And though you're broken and defeated_

_Your weary widow marches_

I have to force a smile to get through the day. I hate the lies. I loath the days I live.

_On and on we carry through the fears_

_Disappointed faces of your peers_

_Take a look at me_

_Cause I could not care at all_

They keep giving me pity glances, like they know how I feel. I know they don't, they know they don't… why do they pretend to care?

_Do or die_

_You'll never make me_

_Because I won't_

_You'll never take my heart_

_And though they try_

_They'll never break me_

_They want it all_

_They wanna break this heart_

I think they're trying to break me down; get me out of my denial. But I know you're gone. Heh, I'm talking to the wall again; no one else is here.

_I won't explain_

_Or say I'm sorry_

_I'm not ashamed_

_I'm gonna show my scar_

_Give the chair_

_Now while I'm broken_

_Listen here!_

_And listen to me!_

I should die, shouldn't I? I could be with you sooner. Damn, why do you bring it up all the time? No, I am NOT going crazy.

_I'm just a man,_

_I'm not a hero_

_Just a boy_

_Now let him sing this song_

_I'm just a man_

_I'm not a hero_

_I don't care_

"Please let me in, Roy!"

"NO! You're not real!"

"Yes I am, Roy! Now please, let me in!"

"You're a fake!"

"I'm just a man, Roy!"

"You're dead!"

"DAMMIT, ROY!"

_We'll carry on_

_We'll carry on_

_And though you're singing, god believe me_

_Your memory will carry on_

_You'll carry on_

_And though you're broken and defeated_

_Your weary widow marches on!_

"You're dead." I need to tell it that he's dead. I can't bare to see him alive; it's too much for my broken heart.

_Do or die_

_You'll never make me_

_Because I won't_

_You'll never take my heart_

_And though they try_

_They'll never break me_

_They want it all_

_They wanna break this heart_

You tell me to move on, I tell you to rot in hell. I don't believe in hell, so that doesn't do a lot of good now, does it?

_Do or die_

_You'll never make me_

_Because I won't_

_You'll never take my heart_

_And though they try_

_They'll never break me_

_They want it all_

_They wanna break this heart_

"You promised to wait. I said I'd never forget you. You didn't believe me, did you? You forgot our promise, to wait forever. You left me wondering, out in the rain. I ran to the door, and you closed it in my face. I rang the doorbell, and you fired the gun."

**XxxxxxxxxXXXXxXxxxxxxxxxXXXXxxxxxxX**

**Inspired by MCR's 'welcome to the black parade'**

**Made by Dolly, in a time of pure pissed-ness.**

**While reading, I hope you not only thought of who the person was, but struggles in your own life. And of course, the ones you miss, or those around you losing people.**

**Dedicated to my friend, Brody, who is having a difficult time with homo-phobic losers. And to all having issues like that, good luck.**

"**I'm straight, but I support gay marriage. Because marriage is about love, not about gender."**

"**Love is blind, love sees no gender."**


	3. so damn clever

**This is now song fics. Don't ask why, I just want to have a song fic… thing. WOO.**

**I got the CD and went "OMFG this would be a great song fic!" So here's 'So damn clever' by Plain White T's. Go listen to it. It's GREAT. And gets stuck in your head. **

**33333333**

_Thought that I was in control._

_And in my mind you were mine, what did I know?_

They all called you a womanizer. But then you hooked up with me. You made me fall in love with you. I thought you loved me when you said I was yours and you were mine.

_I didn't listen when they said_

_That you were fake, manipulating boys to bed_.

Rumors spread of our relationship, but you didn't seem to care. It's wasn't like you would be looked down upon by your higher-ups. You're the Fuhrer.

_I thought they had you wrong._

_In the morning you were gone._

Then you invited me over, and we had sex. I lost my virginity to you, and I thought I had found my soul mate. But I woke up and you told me to go home.

_Every time I see you face,_

_I can see the games you play_.

It's been torture to see you at work. You've already moved onto someone else. Was I really that replaceable?

_Nobody can break hearts better._

_Why do you have to be so damn clever_?

You broke my heart. You're such a bastard.

_Turns you on-_

_Always getting what you want._

And you don't even care about what happens to me. I watch you go home with a new girl every night.

_Made me believe that we would be together._

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

And yet, I thought you loved me. You said you did. I said I did, too. Did you lie to me?

_We were over from the start_

_Intertwined just in time to fall apart. (fall apart)_

I guess we rushed it, didn't we? Too fast, too soon.

_I can't believe I missed the signs._

_You were cold and they all told me not to try._

Winry and Al were right, I think. They told me not even to go after you; you would break my heart. Damn them being right all the time.

_But I thought they had you wrong_

_The morning you were gone_

_Just vanished from my life_

_Didn't even say goodbye_

And you won't even talk to me at work unless it's about some fucking mission. You probably don't even think about me anymore. Why?

_Every time I see you face_

_I can see the games you play_

_Nobody can break hearts better_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

_Turns you on_

_Always getting what you want_

_Made me believe that we'd be together_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

It hurts so much to see you. I remember everything. All the words you said, the way you tasted… everything about you. And I miss it. I need it back. But you told me we'd always be together, so I didn't try to remember everything. But I do. You meant that much to me.

_You pulled all the right strings_

_Saying all the right things_

_Now that you've gotten what you wanted you don't want it anymore._

All you wanted was sex. I gave it to you, and then you left me. I feel so used. I don't even know what I saw in you.

_Every time I see you face_

_I can see the games you play_

_Nobody can break hearts better_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

_Turns you on_

_Always getting what you want_

_Made me believe that we'd be together_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

Why me? Why did you have to mess with my feelings like that? I loved you. I really did. Now, I can't take seeing you.

_Oh_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

_Oh_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

_Oh_

_Made me believe that we would be together_

_Why do you have to be so damn clever?_

It took me a while to figure it out; that I loved you. I tried to deny it. I tried going out with girls. But you were always what I saw in my mind. So why did you do that? How could you let me fall like that? I hate you for that.

But then, why do I still love you?

**333333333**

**Yeah. Sappy, no? Yeah, not exactly how I wanted it to be. Neh. You will review now, right? **


	4. making a memory

**This is now song fics. Don't ask why, I just want to have a song fic… thing. WOO.**

**Here's 'Making a Memory' by Plain White T's. Go listen to it. It's GREAT. I think I listen to the CD too much. 'Every Second Counts' is the CD, by the way. In case you _want _to listen to it. (Go. NOW.)**

**33333333**

The microphone stand swayed as the drunken singer staggered off the stage. Her skirt was high on her thighs and she thought she was the hottest girl there. Maybe she was, it was guys night.

Finally, the best singer of the house took to the stage. Every girl in town suddenly burst in, apparently knowing exactly when he was going to perform. The blonde pushed up his stool and sat, letting the soft spotlight shine on him. The guitar began to play, and the drums came in.

_Friday night's such a beautiful night  
Where you going?  
I didn't mean to blow it._

His voice was singing voice was slightly deeper than his usual voice, or at least it was at that slow part of the song. Girls swooned and lighters were swaying in the crowd. A man in the back corner sipped his drink.

_You're upset, I don't know what I said,  
But I'm sorry.  
Don't you give about me?_

Ed's eyes closed, his feeling coming out of his mouth and going into the microphone. And here all these girls thought it was a made up story. These were his true feelings, the ones he kept inside. The reason he sang was to get them out.

_Take off your jacket  
Don't walk out that door!_

Ed stood, taking the microphone in hand. This was his favorite part. The music got faster, and he could portray his true feelings more. He didn't mind that some perverted old men were checking him and his sexy voice out. He needed to sing his feelings out. Russel sang beside him, making a perfect harmony.

_You and me,  
We should be,  
Making a memory, whenever we're together, yeah!  
Look at me,  
Can't you see?  
We were meant to be…  
Making a memory!_

The song was getting fast, and Russel smiled as he saw his friend singing. Sure, it wasn't exactly the manliest of jobs, but with so many adoring fans… who could blame him? Plus, it seemed like Ed got to blow off some steam in the process. Russel strummed the next chord and continued with the slow part of the song.

_Don't pretend you're not smiling again.  
Let's just leave it.  
You know I didn't mean it!_

Ed's eyes began to water, while the girls in the front cried out his name. They loved the new song. But the one he wanted up front wasn't there. The one he wanted would never be there.

_Don't know why we put up such a fight,  
Over nothing.  
When we could still be something. _

Roy tried to keep the tears from spilling. He tried not to hear the voice coming out of the speakers. Then again, he also tried not to fall in love. Once he did, he left, trying to avoid commitment. So here he was, listening to a song about his love, and how he broke his love's heart. A tear fell into his whiskey.

_Take off your jacket,  
Don't walk out that door!  
There's no need to leave anymore_!

Ed's tears couldn't fall. He had trained them not to. The last time he cried while performing, he had gotten beat up and almost fired. So he kept his eyes closed and tried to focus on getting the song over with, even though the happy part was coming up. Russel smiled and sang beside him, making a perfect harmony.

_You and me,  
We should be,  
Making a memory, whenever we're together, yeah!  
Look at me,  
Can't you see?  
We were meant to be…  
Making a memory!_

Roy couldn't take it anymore. His emotions had been happy, sad, angry, embarrassed… but that was just because of his break-up. His break-up that just happened, oh… about 6 months ago. And he had dumped his lover. So he had a reason. Yet he was still in love. He pushed past the crowd, trying desperately to get to the front. 

_Can't do this myself.  
No, I need some help.  
We all need some help._

Russel noticed the man parting his way through the crowd. He kept his cool, however, knowing that if he messed up, Ed would suffer the wrath of their agent. Sure, **_OWNER_** was a better word, but he told them to call him an agent. The man was up in the front.

_Friday night's such a beautiful night,  
Now you're staying._

Ed almost hated singing that last part. His eyes closed, barely able to sing the happy words. He had written this the day of the break-up. He thought he was going to get married to this person. Life had meaning when he was with that person. So he wrote that song, and then was dumped. Russel sang beside him, making a perfect harmony.

_You and me,  
We should be,  
Making a memory whenever we're together, yeah!  
Look at me,  
Can't you see?  
We were meant to be…  
Making a memory!_

Roy's eyes weren't the only ones that were watering; he noticed that as he saw the small blonde wiping a gloved hand on his eye, slightly smearing the make-up.

_Friday night's such a beautiful night_,

Ed sang it out hard.

_(making a memory_)

Russel noticed their eyes about to meet.

_Now you're staying!_

Ed's voice was about to crack. He wasn't going to be able to make it through another song.

(_Making a memory_)

Russel shook his head. Why Ed had chosen this song to do was crazy. 'Because they'll love it!' he had said. And now he was crying. Again.

_Don't know why we put up such a fight, over nothing._

Ed opened his eyes just enough to see Roy in the front row, holding back his own tears.

_(Making a memory)_  
Russel sighed, knowing that Ed would most likely throw the microphone at the dark haired man, making a scene, and then go storm off to his room like a drama queen. Either that, or go make-up and make-out with him. Either way it wasn't going to be easy to explain.

(_Making a memory!)_

Russel sang the last line; stung the last string, and walked up to Ed. Ed was currently staring at the only man in the audience. Not only that, but he had tears falling, and the crazy girls were still screaming his name, and shouting for another song.

"And here I thought you said you didn't like my singing."

Ed really knew how to lighten up the mood. And Roy? Well, he knew never to break up with someone because they sung to loud when they were alone in the shower. And never hurt Ed. You might end up being the poster boy for worst boyfriend ever in a smash hit.


	5. staplegunned elevator

**Woo! An update? Yes! Just a little one, kinda sucky, but... anyway, it's with Staple-gunned (staple... gunned) by the spill canvas. And for once, I have a link to watch the video for the song! So here it is... **

was in the lobby when I set my sights on you.

He opened the door to the lunch room, to find _him_ at his table. But in all actuality, he was pleased. But his dark hair might've been messy, and his smirky smile might've had food in it. So he went to a different table to eat his dinner.

_Should'a' kissed you in the elevator,  
but I was too scared to._

The man stepped into the elevator and poked the button with his floor on it. Nothing happened. He angrily growled as the doors hissed open. A young man, not even, more of a teen, stepped into the elevator. The blonde glanced at the taller man, nervously smiled, and poked his floor number. Both of the numbers pushed had been 13, the highest floor, and they were currently in the lobby. The door slid closed and the shorter male backed up, almost into the other.

Roy caught his breath, looking at the long hair that he had watched so long. His lust was undeniable, so he reached out to turn the teen around. But the doors opened, and the blonde left in a hurry and Roy was all alone.

_It was in the morning when I made up my mind.  
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time_ Roy sulked around the hotel room. He knew he wanted Ed. He knew it was wrong. He knew Ed was a minor. But only for another week... But Ed never said anything to Roy about love. Not even crushes. Not even girls. Not anything... informal.

_Do I have to spell it out to you  
or scream it in your face?  
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place._

Ed was pouting. Not that anyone saw it, of course. But he was all alone, in another city, with the military. And the Fuhrer, Roy Mustang. Who just _happened_ to be everywhere that Ed was. But he didn't say anything to Mustang. Not even about love. Not even crushes. Not girls. Nothing... informal.

_Do I have to spell it out for you  
or whisper in your ear?  
Oh, just stop right there  
I think that we've got something here._

Ed glanced at the clock. It was only 10, so the hotel should still let the pool be open. Ed put on his shorts and grabbed a towel. He opened his door and walked down the hallway towards that damn elevator. Of course, Ed slowed to a stop in front of Roy... Mustang's door. He heard a noise and then hurried away to the elevator.

_We were all alone when I finally made a pass at you._

Roy opened his door to see the legs of Edward Elric hurrying down the hall. Roy smirked. He could do it now. "MAJOR ELRIC!"

_It didn't work, and no it never does,  
but you know how I do!_

Roy cleared his throat and stood up straighter at the sight of the teen in just swim trunks, and a towel around his neck. "I... I..." Roy sighed. "Goodnight, Full Metal." and he closed the door.

Ed sighed and the doors hissed closed and the 'ding' of the elevator came. Mustang didn't realize it, thankfully. Ed wiped the sweat from the back of his neck. Not from running, but from the nervous-ness of hearing Roy calling for him.

_We were on the phone when I made up my mind.  
I want you staple-gunned right to my side all of the time_

The phone rang when Ed got back to his room. He picked it up, only to hear that creepy breathing that you hear in horror movies. Ed's eyes grew wide and he slammed the phone down. It rang again and he picked it up. "He-hello?" **_BREATHING_** "Stop calling me!" and he hung up.

Roy, on the other hand, was at a loss of words. He kept trying to call Ed, but apparently he had ripped the phone out of the wall. Roy sighed and got dressed. It was almost midnight.

_Do I have to spell it our to you?  
or scream it in your face?  
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place!  
Do I have to spell it out for you?  
or whisper in your ear?  
Oh, just stop right there  
I think that we've got something here_.

Ed kept knocking on the door. Then he realized no one was in there; he locked himself out of his room. He went over the elevator, again, to go down to the lobby to ask for another fucking key. And so once again, he pushed the button to go down to the lobby. The doors closed, and he watch the little numbers go from 13, to 12, to 11, to 10, to 9, to 10, to 11, to 12...wait. He was going back up? "Damn bastard son of a –" And the doors hissed open, revealing a determined Roy Mustang. "S-Sir?" Ed stuttered out. Roy stepped into the elevator and the doors hissed closed. 

_Do I have to spell it our to you?  
or scream it in your face?  
Oh, the chemistry between us could destroy this place!  
Do I have to spell it out for you?  
or whisper in your ear?_

"Shh," Roy said, taking a step towards the blonde. Ed was backed up as far as he could against the walls of the elevator. Roy put both hands on the sides of Ed's face on the wall, closing in for a kiss. Roy took a deep breath, then let it out as a sigh and put his arms down at his sides. "You don't know, do you?" Roy ran a hand through his dark hair. "We're so damn unaware."

_Oh, just stop right there  
I think that we've got something here!_


	6. i hate everything about you

**Okay. I'm bored as hell, and watching You Tube videos. Arrg. So, I have decided to updates something. Not sure what, but… I'll figure it out. It might include lemon. Or at least a lime. Anyway, here's I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU by THREE DAYS GRACE. Woo.**

**333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333**

_Every time we lie awake_

I never noticed how loud you snored until I walked into your office last year. You were asleep, and snoring. And I had enough stupidity to put my jacket on you so you wouldn't get cold. Now I lay here thinking if that's really why.

_  
After every hit we take_

The fight was horrible. It seemed like you were gonna kick my ass. I wasn't going to let you, though. I wanted to get that information. But then, you were going to tell me, right? No matter how the assessment went? Why?

_  
Every feeling that I get_

And I hate you. Yeah, I thought your fancy fire trick was cool. But I was twelve and stupid. Show off. Then you helped me with my goals, even though I was rude and disrespectful. I felt guilty when you didn't finish your paperwork on time. But it wasn't my fault… So why did I feel like that?

_  
But I haven't missed you yet._

And so I was sent on anther mission about 7 months ago. I came back with nothing. Then again to the desert. 4 months ago I came back from that one and didn't even talk to you. A week later I was escorted to someplace in the country. I came back a month later, and you hugged me. I didn't miss you. You didn't miss me. But then, why did we kiss?  
_  
Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make_

And I gave it to you. I, as a virgin, was lost in your glorious bed. You said it was cute when I moaned like that. I said it was hot when you purred sweet nothings in my ear. And you went further in. You said I was great. That's not what I wanted to hear. Why did I settle for it?

_  
All the feelings that I get,_

You cuddled with me until I fell asleep. I felt your warm breath on my neck when I woke, then I fell deeper into sleep. Then you didn't talk tome at work and I wanted to punch you in the face. But when you called me into your office, I was filled with happiness. Then you told me I had another mission. I felt so… dissatisfied. But I left, and I wonder why.

_  
But I still don't miss you yet._

I sat on the train with Al, trying to focus. Not on you; you were too bothersome. I just wanted to get it over with.And Al didn't help at all; he kept bringing you up somehow. Why do you always get inside my thoughts?__

Only when I stop to think about it.

It's hard, you know. Love. I mean, what is it really? An emotion that two people have towards each other. That can be hate too, right? Why do I even care?__

I hate everything about you.

_The way you make fun of my height. When you flirt with a girl. When you flirt with anyone besides me. That thing you do that makes me squirm when you look at me. The fact that because you're the Fuhrer makes you think you're all high and mighty. And the way you leave me alone to go do things. Why don't you care more? _

_  
Why do I love you?_

The way you hold me after a nightmare. When you tell me you love me. You don't mind my auto mail. You think I'm beautiful. The way you say my name. When you're so gentle with me. You treat me like a gift from unreal heaven. When you defend me. The way you get jealous. When you tell me it's not my fault, even if it is. Why do I hate you?

_  
I hate everything about you._

Take a long walk off of the shortest pier you can find. Egotistical Bastard with a God complex I hate you so much. Go swallow a knife. No one likes you. Jackass. Get over yourself. Go commit suicide…oh wait. You're too damn scared. Idiot, why are you so fucking stupid?

_  
Why do I love you?_

Move a little slower. Hold me tighter. Keep me in line. Tell me you love me. Whisper sweet nothings to me in my sleep. Lover. We all look up to you. I hope you live forever. Walk with me. Sweetie. Tell me what I want to hear-the truth. Honey, why are you so fucking kind to me?__

Every time we lie awake

I remember when you decided we needed to get away. So we drove out of town to a quiet park. You pointed out constellations and I told you what I thought of them. Leo looked like a bunch of dots getting chased by a group of dots. Orion looked like dots dancing. The giant dipper looked like a few dots running around in a square while other dots stood in line trying to join in. You laughed and agreed with everyone. Why didn't you say it was stupid?

_  
After every hit we take._

Our first fight as a couple was horrifying. First it was an argument, but I brought up Ishbal, and you brought up my 'mother'. I threw the first punch and it landed on your chest. You got angry and hit me in the left arm. I yelled swear words at you and tried to kick at your shins. I missed, and you said it was because I was too damn short to get anything. I said that I couldn't see over your huge thoughts of suicide. You shoved me to the ground and told me I wasn't worth anything. I stood up and hugged you, trying to prove I did. Why did it hurt so much?

_  
Every feeling that I get_

Hate. Misery. Depression. Lonely. Sad. Love. Hope. Kindness. Care. Fear. Desire. Lust. Want. Patience. Joy. Boredom. Lazy. Sleepy. Tired. HOT. Sexy. Beautiful. Scared. Trust. Need. Waiting. Anxious. Why do you do this to me?

_  
But I haven't missed you yet  
_

I didn't right my report. So what? It wasn't important. Yet you didn't talk to me all that day. Do you know how hard that was on me? It was all like… white noise and shit. Then, I finally get home and you locked me out of the bedroom. And I was all fucking mad at you. The last time I saw you was 3 weeks before. I didn't need to sleep on a bed. I sleep on trains. Why did it matter?

_  
Only when I stop to think about it_

I hate love. It's so damn… stupid. It rips your heart to shreds. Then it gives new hope just to take it away again. I wish love wasn't real. I wish I could live without you. I need to stop wishing and realize the truth. But I want you to say it first. I mean, what if you don't feel the same way. Why won't you say those three words?__

I hate everything about you.

You said I was short. You said I was a pain. You said I was stupid. You said I was a fucking dog of the military. "I don't care what your reasons are! You disobeyed my orders, Full metal!" "Oh and you think I care? Your _orders_ could've gotten you _killed_!" "So you decided to chance your _own_ life?" Why the hell did I do that for you?

_  
Why do I love you?_

You said I was sexy. You said I was perfect. You said I was a protégé. You said I was _your_ lap dog. "I missed you at lunch. Where were you?" "Getting dessert for tonight." "And why couldn't you do that later? I would've come with you." Why does that sound so sexual?

_  
I hate everything about you._

Another fight we had… it was my birthday. We came home from Hughes' house/party and you carried me bridal style out of the car. You said a birthday boy gets anything he wants. I said I wanted stew, because I was cold and… slightly drunk. You took it as an insult and dropped me on the couch. I yelled at you and you asked why the hell I was so damn childish all the time. I just stared, so you grabbed my shoulders and shoved me against the wall. I remember my eyes got wide, and then I started to fight back. I said it was your fault for making me join the military so young. It made no sense at all. Why did we start fighting?

_  
Why do I love you?_

I dreamt that you died. And I couldn't stop it. My feet were nailed to the ground, or at least that's what how I felt. You cried out to me to save you. I screamed for you, but it came out as a whisper only I could hear. You vanished, and my mother appeared. I thought it was okay, but then she changed into… the eyes…it wasn't human. She cried out for me too. I screamed and shut my eyes. You put your arms around me and held me, telling me it was alright; it was a nightmare. You always did that, and I don't know why.__

Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know.

You smiled at me today. Just randomly you looked up and met my eyes. It was nice. I like moments like those. Then you stay in my mind longer.

_  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know_

You frowned at me today. Just for no reason at all you did. It was mean. I hate moments like those. Then I feel like I did something wrong.

I hate everything about you.

You got _another_ love letter today. Go tell them you're taken! I would, but you said not to. I hate having to hide our relationship. Wait… why are we hiding?

_  
Why do I love you?_

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. What a load of crap. I just love you because I love you. Not because your eyes are as deep as an ocean's trench. And not because you treat me right no matter how rude I get. Why do I do that to you?

_  
You hate everything about me._

I blush. I'm…vertically challenged. I have anger problems. I don't respect those who deserve it. I don't use polite manners at fancy restaurants. Why are you with me

_  
Why do you love me?_

I blush. I hold you when you have nightmares. I smile at you for nothing. I get jealous easy. I think you're an angel, even though I don't believe in them. I wore a mini skirt for your birthday. Why I do that for you?__

I hate

You SUCK, Mustang.

_  
You hate_

I'm such a TWIT.

_  
I hate_

Stop looking at me like that, PERVERT.

_  
You love me_

_You told me. Just now. I'm speechless._

I hate everything about you.

Denial. I blame you for this, you know. I really wanted to hate you. Then at least when I go, I won't be sad. I won't have something connecting me here; making me want to stay. I deny love.

_  
Why do I love you?_

Ilove you too, Bastard. Because you…

**33333333333333333333333333333**

**HOLY CRAP.**

**That took a little longer than I expected. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Ps, what fic do you want finished first? It's a new poll. VOTE! (Review!)**


	7. your guardian angel

**So… reasons for me not updating anything? Let me list them. Grounding. Yelling. Getting kicked out of the house. Mom quitting her job to be home. Door being ripped off. More grounding. Summer. Being watched 24/7. Babysitting. So expect no updates for… neh, a good long while. I think maybe sometime in July… maybe. I'm at my grandma's house. That's the only way I can get ANY internet. Anyway, I'm trying to update all my stories before three or so, so… yeah. Just wanted to say I've been craving so bad it's a drug.**

**Oh like I seriously can own FMA. (It'd be WAY too explicit!) **

**3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333**

_Your Guardian Angel, by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. _

_88888888888888888888_

_When I see your smile  
Tears run down my face I can't replace._

He turned to face me and smiled. I love his smile. It's much better than that smirk he used to always show me. His smile is genuine. I know it's real. You just can't fake that.

_  
And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul._

I guess you could say I'm in love. I do, and he does. We've just been through so much, either separately or together. And he accepts me for what I am, and what I'm not. It's rather sappy, but I think he really cares. He cares so much that it rains on sunny days.

_  
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one.  
_

If I tried, I could make him stay home everyday with me. We could just sit in his library reading, and then eat strawberries. I'd go farther, but I doubt that'll ever happen, so I've never planned that far. But I think Roy has.

_  
I will never let you fall;  
I'll stand up with you forever._

He says it's not necessary for me to know everything. He says I don't need to have that many burdens. But I want to. If it takes some away from him, I'll do it. I just want him to be happy. No matter what.

_  
I'll be there for you through it all,  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

He told me yesterday he'd die for me. I'm not sure if I want that to be the booze talking or not. What if that's honesty? It's sweet, but a little extreme, right? I mean, I'd take a bullet for him. Is that the same? I just want to always be there for him. I love him, and I don't care what happens to me, just let him be happy.__

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

He told me yesterday that he loved me. I'd never had a young teen, no, man tell me that he loved me. So I didn't respond right away. He got a little nervous and blushed that cute rosy blush, and I said that I loved him too. And that it was okay.

_  
Seasons are changing,  
And waves are crashing,_

I think when I asked him to move in it was too soon. But he said yes and immediately started packing. Now we've been living together for a year, watching snow fall and melt, seeing the grow and fall.

_  
And stars are falling all for us.  
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter._

He's always of on a mission. That's what I used to say. Now he's always here, just how I want him. I try to spend all my free time with him. It sounds sappy, doesn't it? That I'm suddenly a lovesick puppy? Everything has been going great… so far.

_I can show you I'll be the one._

We never really talk about marriage. He's more into the here and now. I want to ask him. Really, what is the worst he could say? No? I can't let that happen. One way or another, I'll convince him.__

I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
I'll stand up with you forever.

I told him he didn't need to know. Because he _really_ didn't need to know. But he was stubborn and thought I was babying him. I'm not; I don't want him to get hurt. He doesn't need the weight of the world on his shoulders.

_  
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.  
_

If I believed in heaven, I'd say I already had it. But if worse came to worse, I'd die for him. A sad thought, but it's true. I told him so. I doubt he thinks I'm serious, but I'd take a knife to the heart for him. I love him, and I don't care what happens to me, as long as he's happy.

_  
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
Please don't throw that away!_

"Don't go."

"I have to go, you know that."

"You're leaving me."

"I am not. Now kiss me before I go."

Did you mean what you said? Can I trust you with my heart?

_  
Cuz I'm here for you._

"Shh, don't cry."

"I'm not crying.

"Okay, okay."

"Just don't….. Don't….."

_  
Please don't walk away, and  
Please tell me you'll stay!_

"Don't go, Roy!"

"I have to go, you know that."

"You're leaving me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Now kiss me before I go."

"_Promise_, Roy."

"Promise _what_, Ed?"

"That you'll come back if not stay."

"You know I can't keep that promise."

"But you can try."__

Use me as you will  
Pull my strings just for a thrill

"So what, you gonna just leave me here? I don't care what happens! Let me come too. Please, Roy. I… tell me what you want. I'll do it as long as it's not me staying here or going home. Do whatever you want with me, Mustang. I'm always going to be there."

_  
And I know I'll be okay  
Though my skies are turning gray  
_

"Trust me, Ed. You're always with me." He whispered it to the wind. "And throughout this hell of a war," he patted his chest. "Here's where you'll stay. And your physical self is safe at home, in a place I can return to. Once the war is over. And it stops raining"

_  
I will never let you fall  
I'll stand up with you forever  
I'll be there for you through it all  
Even if saving you sends me to heaven._

**33333333333333333333333333333333**

**So… tired… sorry if this one's a bit bad. It's… officially 2 AM now. Still trying to update all of my stories… if possible. Reviews?**


	8. you and me

**Still having troubles with the stories. Will try later, and also tomorrow. ---sniffle---**

**77777777777777777777777777777777777**

You and Me, by Lifehouse (with a _bit_ of editing)

_What day is it  
And in what month  
This clock never seemed so alive _

He turned over, wanting to watch the other sleep. He was already awake and smiling. Roy leaned over and kissed him briefly, then hovered his head over Ed's. They'd been snowed in for days and stayed in bed most of the time. But then, they also were _on_ the bed. And _on_ the couch. And _on_ the hallway wall. Ed smiled and closed his eyes.

_  
I can't keep up  
And I can't back down  
I've been losing so much time  
_

They'd been going out for a while. It'd been alright with the military because Roy was Fuhrer. Ed was almost eighteen anyway. But with the recent snow they'd been unable to go to work, and been spending lots of time together. LOTS of time together.

_  
Cause it's you and me  
And all of the people  
With nothing to do   
Nothing to lose _

"Roy?" Ed yawned and placed his head on Roy's bare chest. It was warm and smelt slightly smoky, but that was how Roy always smelt. Ed inhaled the aroma.

"Mmm, yeah?" Roy was stroking Ed's golden locks. They were like honey, and sometimes smelt like honey. Roy closed his eyes and enjoyed being close to the teen.

"I _really_ like you." Ed said after a few minutes. "A lot. Like, more than that. I really, _really_ like you." Ed put his [now flesh right arm on Roy's chest. He traced little circles. "What about you?"

_  
And it's you and me  
And all of the people _

They both remembered the time Alphonse first saw them. It was awkward to say the least. They'd been getting it on in Roy's office, and the blinds were down, and the door was locked. Roy kept kissing Ed's neck, knowing it made him moan. Al, being the protective brother that he is, rushed in, despite the door. There was yelling.

_  
And I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you _

Roy smiled but kept his eyes closed. He'd thought about Ed a lot lately, more than he usually did. Whenever he saw a blonde he thought of him. Roy thought of Ed every time a door slammed. And he felt a twang of jealousy whenever people looked at Ed, because they would have that 'I-want-to-LALA-you' look on their face. And Ed was always oblivious, unless it was Roy giving him that look. Then Ed would blush and tell him to shut up even though he hadn't said anything. But in his mind…

_  
Well all of the things  
That I wanna say  
Just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words_

"How do I feel, Ed?" The blonde nodded on his chest, now tracing on Roy's stomach. Roy took a breath, making his chest and Ed rise a bit. "I think about you a lot, if that's what you mean. And I… I don't want to hurt you, ever. I feel like I need to protect you, but not in a fatherly way." He knew Ed would object to being protected. "I guess you could say I like you a lot, too, but that's a lie." Ed shifted and Roy opened his eyes, realizing the truth. "It's more than that. I love you."

_  
You got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here _

'_He did it. He told me he loves me. Fuck, now… do I feel that way? What am I thinking? Of course._'

_  
Cause it's you and me  
And all of the people  
With nothing to do   
Nothing to prove_

"I love…I love you too." Ed sat up and placed a kiss on Roy's lips and then smiled proudly. "I love you." He told the wall. He turned back to Roy, who he was straddling. "I _love_ you."

_  
And it's you and me  
And all of the people_

Al had freaked out. He had thought Ed liked Winry, or at least a girl. So it was freaky to see his brother making out with an older, MALE, military MAN. Al immediately accused Roy of playing with Ed's emotions, saying it was immoral. Roy stated that Ed was doing it of his own free will and liked him just as much as he liked Ed. Ed just sat on the desk, blushing in his boxers, with love bites ALL over him. He wanted to get his pants or tank, but Roy ordered him to sit until it was all sorted out.

_  
And I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you _

Ed didn't know what it was about Roy that was so attractive. Sure he was hot, charming, and suave. But that's just what those past ladies saw. Ed saw… What? Heated passion? A caring listener? What he really saw was a man, lonely and closed in, his secrets eating away at him. Ed saw a man who labored, strived and worked his ass off for the ones he loved, and the ones he never met. He also saw the man that was there every morning, with coffee and a warm smile, and always, _always_ waiting for him._  
_

_  
Something about you now  
I can't quite figure out_

They'd gone out on dates. They'd gone to the park. They'd made out more times than they could remember. But there was no other time that either of the two had said those mysterious three words. But that night, (or was it morning by then?) It was morning when they'd found the words they'd known for a long time. They'd been in love.

_  
Everything he does is beautiful  
Everything he does is bright  
_

"Ed?" Roy knew the teen was probably asleep. They'd lain down to do so over two hours ago. "Ed, are you awake?" He was whispering loud enough that Ed heard the deepness of his voice.

"Sleep, must. Must…Mussss…" Ed trailed off, turning his head to face Roy. "Must sleep, Mustang." He traced Roy's jaw with his fingertip.

"Just…be here, okay?" Roy didn't realize how pathetic it sounded until he said it. It sounded much more brave in his head. "Stay, and be here when I wake up, okay?" Ed giggled.

"Nightmares," Ed stated. "Are a trick of the mind. Think of the nice and you get the bad. Think of the bad and you get the worst." He cuddled closer to Roy. "You tell me that all the time when I get 'em. Practice what you preach and sleep." Roy smiled. Ed really knew him too well.

_  
Cause it's you and me  
And all of the people  
With nothing to do   
Nothing to lose _

"Tell me you love me. I'm getting lonely. Missing you to death. Want to feel your breath."

"Come over to my place. I need to see your face. Smiling just thinking of you. Swear you feel it too." **(1)**

They smiled. "You know it's true."

_  
And it's you and me  
And all of the people  
And I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of  
_

"You, Full metal, are the most annoying, obstinate, irresponsible, distracting-"

"You, Fuhrer, are the most self-centered, pig-headed, conceited, spineless-"

"-most irritating, selfish, reckless-"

"most egotistical, smug, disturbing-"

"-most caring person I have ever met, and I don't deserve you."

"-most protecting person I have ever met, and I don't give a damn."

_  
Cause it's you and me  
And all of the people  
With nothing to do   
Nothing to prove  
And it's you and me  
And all of the people  
And I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you _

The three words kept replaying through his head. "I love you." He'd said them back, and Roy couldn't be more content. They lied there, saying nothing, doing nothing, just listening to each other breathing. Then Ed started giggling, and Roy groaned and mentioned something about mountains of paperwork. Ed smiled and kissed him on the lips. Like paperwork mattered__

What day is it  
And in what month  
This clock never seemed so alive

**777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777**

**I wrote that. Well, it's out of context, but still me.**

**Blec. Some parts did NOT seem right, I know, but… wow it took me like three hours to do. Well, I was reading… and drinking lemonade… and eating cough drops… reviews? I miss them! **

_**-----Dolly Rose, Loser in the Gutter-----**_


	9. before he cheats

So I'm just trying this to make sure I still got it

**Okay, so you have to not hate me right now. I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard to get back into this. And I was going to do When Worlds Collide, but I hate that story. Sorry. But I like songs, so I'm just gonna stick with the easy stuff until I'm totally back. The song is **_**Before He Cheats, **_**by Carrie Underwood**_**. **_**So… prepare for shitty writing. Ahhh I'm nervous. Okay. Here…we…go!**

**888888888888888888888888888888888888888888**

Ed smiled as he looked in the glass of scotch in his hand. He had already had two, so this third one would be easy. Edward set it down after a small sip and glanced at the man next to him. He was tall and brunette; the type of guy Ed really hated at that moment. His eyes went back to his scotch. This was their bar, but Mustang said he was gonna work late.

By ten, Edward was good and drunk, and mighty proud of himself. He set the empty glass down on the bar and asked the bartender if he'd ever been in love. When he said yes, Ed smiled and said that love sucked.

"_Right now, he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky_." The words poured out of his mouth quicker than the vodka or rum anyone was drinking. "_Right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink, 'cause she can't shoot whiskey."_ He smiled and remembered the first time he'd shot whiskey. Roy laughed the whole ride home, that bastard. "_Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo."_ Edward smiled big.

"_And he don't know that I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats... I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires..."_

Ed stopped in the middle of his confession, realizing he was attracting a bit too much attention. He slapped some money on the table and got off of the stool, trying to walk to the door. '_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_.' Ed thought to himself. He fell into a booth, and heard his name.

"Ed? Holy sh… I can't believe you're drunk. Oh my god." The man holding Edward up ran his free hand though his own blonde hair. "Hey Breda, what are we gonna do here?"

The other man shifted and scooted over. "Let him sit here. Order him some coffee and then we'll take him home."

The three sat there for a while, Havoc and Breda drinking alcohol, Edward sipping coffee. Havoc did the worst thing; he brought up a girl he had seen with Mustang. Ed smiled darkly and traced the rim of his mug with his finger.

"Right now, she's probably up singing some white-trash version of Shania karaoke. Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk", and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky." Ed's brows grew close together and Breda gave him a weary look. "Right now, he's probably dabbing on _3 dollars worth_ of that bathroom cologne." Ed looked Havoc dead in the eye and stopped tracing his mug.

"_And he don't know that I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats._" Havoc swallowed his brandy and was astonished at Ed." "_I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires…_" Ed looked back down to his steaming coffee. "_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_."

Havoc's eyes were wide, as well as Breda's. Ed sighed and got out of the booth. He held onto it for a second due to vertigo, and then walked out the door of the pub. Ed walked down the street to a much larger bar; the one Roy often took him too. Roy's car was parked outside, and Ed smiled as he ran a flesh finger over the scratches on the paint.

"_I might've saved a little trouble for the next one_," Ed decided. He looked in the window of the bar. Just like he earlier, Mustang was with some red-haired slut who was holding some green drink. "_Cause the next time that he cheats…"_ He smiled as he watched the girl wrap her arms around Roy. "_Oh, you know it won't be on me_." Ed looked down as the two kissed lightly, and then turned back to the car, his masterpiece.

"_No...Not on me_." He kicked the flat tire and let out a sad laugh. He leaned on the car and closed his eyes, remembering the motions he went through just a few hours before.

"_I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats_." SO HE'LL NEVER FORGET ME.

_"I_ _took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all 4 tires._" SO HE CAN'T RUN AWAY ANYMORE.

"_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats._" Ed opened his eyes and stepped away from the car. He leaned on the wall of the bar, and smiled when he heard the small ding of the bell.

"HOLY CRAP!" Mustang rushed to the car, a girl quick behind him. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY CAR!?" The girl had her arms around his shoulders and was trying to comfort him.

"Yeah, what could've happened?" Roy looked behind him, only to see his worst fear.

"Ed," He started. "Did you… did you fucking do this?"

Edward smiled and looked to the girl next to his ex-lover, then back to the man. "Read the seats, they say who did it." He started to walk away, but then he looked at the girl. "_Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats_."

**888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888**

**So…hate me? Yeah, well, join the club. My butt hurts from sitting here for hours, so that's all you get, sorry. At least its something, even though I hate it. Bleh.**


	10. slow dancing

**Slow Dancing in a Burning Room**** by John Mayer**

_It's not a silly little moment,  
It's not the storm before the calm._

ED

You yelled at me. You said I took and took and had a one-track mind. Well so do you, I retaliated. All you want is to be Fuhrer. I'm stopping you, right? Is that why you're yelling at me? NO?! Well, stop being a hypocrite and tell me if that's your only goal. You told me I was being childish, just like you always do.

_This is the deep and dying breath of  
This love that we've been working on.  
_

ED

You were late for our date. Again. Not like I was on time, but at least I was there within the 15 minutes. "An hour late, Roy?" I said it like I'm not used to it. Should I be? We've been fighting a lot lately. You say the promotion is stressing you out and making you work later. I noticed the new secretary wore a scarf today, despite how warm it got. When I commented on it, you scoffed and told me to mind my own business. Is it my business now, Roy?

_Can't seem to hold you like I want to  
So I can feel you in my arms._

ROY

I wanted to be with you, but you wanted to go the library. Your brother's back to normal and you got your leg back, Ed, what more do you want? You never stay the whole night anymore. I heard that Russ fellow is in town. His brother is friends with Alphonse. I know I flirt but dammit Edward, I know where to stop. Please trust me again.

_Nobody's gonna come and save you,  
We pulled too many false alarms._

ROY

We almost broke up at the office 2 weeks ago. I mentioned your behavior towards a general. You called him an ass or something and I said that wasn't appropriate. The fight escaladed, as it often did. You told me to go find a whore, and then I said I did. I found you at that café we always go to. I told you I'd like for you to go with me to dinner. Last Wednesday, you told me I could easily sleep my way to the top. I said there was something little stopping me. You said it was my damn cowardice. That I was afraid of it. So close to breaking Edward. So damn close.

_We're going down,  
And you can see it too._

It's not like we're best friends. We're close. We share things. We hang out. Sure, but we don't bond and have fun and… I don't know. Have those friendly arguments? We fight, but that ends up badly and we get hurt. We're bitter lovers, stuck between the want to not be alone, and the want to not be emotional. So there's not really a bond. We were never friends. I suppose that's where we messed up.

_We're going down,  
And you know that we're doomed._

Dear God, I don't believe in you, but could you PLEASE help me. I can't stand this. This pain, this pleasure, this confusion… all of it! I hate this. I love it. I'm being torn apart on the inside. God help me. I don't want to go to hell again.

_My dear,  
We're slow dancing in a burning room._

"Don't be mad."

"How could I not be mad, Fullmetal?!"

"Please don't yell."

"I'll yell if I damn well please!"

"It was nothing."

"Hell it was. You want him."

"Please, like it matters anyway."

"Why?"

"You're just going to yell and we'll fight and break up, right?"

"Is that what you want, Roy?"

_I was the one you always dreamed of,  
You were the one I tried to draw._

ROY

No, fuck no. I don't think I could ever hurt you, Edward. I would die before I let that happen. But what if hurting you once would save you the turmoil of heartbreak later? So what do I say? "Edward, you know you mean a lot to me." I was a playboy and I knew it. I was a womanizer and was proud of it. What happened to that man? I became whipped by a teenage boy turned man. He was just a toy… that's right. That's what I'll say.

"_How dare you say it's nothing to me?  
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw."_

ROY

Or not. Maybe you'll hate my sentimentalism and yell. Yes, Ed, fuel the anger fire. Make me hate you, because, dammit, I need a reason right now. I want to hate you so bad. Fight me, Edward. Edward… be human and not be so angelic. Stop this crazy relationship. Stop it, Edward. End it so I don't have the guilt of hurting you. Hurt me. HURT ME.

_I'll make the most of all the sadness,  
You'll be a bitch because you can._

ED

I know I'm immature. Who wants to be all pompous and lousy like the old guys at country clubs? I'm the one who always has to fucking come and apologize to you. I always take the fall. You say you protect me from the higher ups, but hell, Roy, why do you complain about it then? Either want to protect me and do, or don't at all.

_You try to hit me just to hurt me  
So you leave me feeling dirty  
Because you can't understand._

"You fucker. What the hell were you thinking?"

"The same thing you were when you missed your mother."

"So you want this too?" He showed his automail to the general. "Or do you want to die? Because that's what'll happen, Roy."

"I've been reading."

"Oh hell, Roy. You can't do this."

"Why? Just because you couldn't do it perfectly doesn't mean I won't."

"So you think you're better than me?"

"Well I'm taller, smarter, wiser…"

"And older. And stupid enough not to learn from my mistakes!"

Dammit, please make me hate you.

_We're going down,  
And you can see it too_.

ED

You told me yesterday I should go visit Al. So now I'm on a train, alone, headed to… Well, I'm thinking I'll get off in a few stops. I need a break. We need a break. SHIT. We need a break from each other. That's why you told me to visit my brother. You realized how we'd been at each other's throats all month. Congratulations, Roy. I think you're right.

_We're going down,  
And you know that we're doomed.  
_

FUCK THIS SHIT. I'M SO OVER THIS. WHY DON'T YOU EVER APOLOGIZE? WHY AREN'T YOU EVER POLITE TO ME? I WISH WE COULD END THIS. I WISH IT WOULD END ITSELF. WE'RE BOTH SO MADISTIC. THIS WILL GO ON FOREVER, WON'T IT.

_My dear,  
We're slow dancing in a burning room.  
_

ROY

We've been fighting a lot, haven't we, Edward? It seems like as the week progresses, you keep pushing my buttons more and more. Then Saturday… that basted day… we fight so much that you are on the verge on tears. Oh Ed, how I wish I could take back those moments. But later on, once you let me back into the bedroom, we make love. And you tell me you love me, and I do the same. So on Sunday we are civil, with slight jabs here and there, but leave to work on Monday on unequal terms. Tell me, Edward, when did fighting become routine?

"_Go cry about it - why don't you?"_

ED

And I did. You couldn't hear me or see the tears, but they fell. The fell on your precious sheets that you bought with me. They fell on your journal that I read and learned about you and Hughes. The tears fell on your gloves that you always leave next to the bed. They fell over and over onto that ring you gave me on our 2nd anniversary. A promise ring, because it was all you could give me. Is that promise why we're still together? Roy Mustang does not break promises.

_My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room_.

"Why don't they break up already?" He said, the cigarette dangling from his lips.

"They need each other." The woman said, her nose in a book.

"They hate each other."

"I don't think that's true."

"They fight all the time and yell and honestly, it's getting pretty tense around the office."

"They just need some time."

"It's been like 3 years, Riza."

"Like I said, time."

_Don't you think we oughta know by now?  
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?  
_

ED

It's Sunday morning. After that amazing sex, I think I'll make you breakfast. You're really not that bad, Bastard, despite what I say. I really do love you, you know. I'll make you an omelet, you like those. So maybe we can go to lunch today. I'd like that- to go out like we used to. You never take me out anywhere anymore…

888888888888

Alrighty then. That wasnt exactly what i wanted, but it's what you get. i think my stories like to run off away from where i planned. oh well.


	11. bulletproof

Bulletproof, by Kerli

EDWARD ELRIC'S LOG BOOK

_Just a simple touch,  
Just a little glance  
Makes me feel like flyin'_.

His hands… they rushed over my skin like feathers- light, yet sending pleasure all over by body. His mouth… it went from devouring my mouth, to sucking my neck, to licking my chest, to kissing my abs, to… well… south of that. But his touch… I'll never forget how high one touch from Roy got me. One kiss was all I needed, but almost never all I received. He always knew what to give me. He knew what I wanted without me telling him, even though he liked it when I told him. If there was a god, I'd pray for those touches never to end, for that feeling to never cease.

_But where are you tonight?  
Something isn't right,  
Can you please stop hiding?  
_

"I don't know anymore, Al. Roy often goes out with Havoc and Breda and them. I didn't mind when I was 18. I wasn't into drinking, and they only went to bars. Now, I'm 22, and they go to the moving picture shows. Havoc is getting pretty serious with his girlfriend, Maggie, who I think is the reason he's trying to stop smoking. Roy… Roy never tells me about the movies he sees. In fact… I don't even know where he is tonight…"

_I'm trying not to think about  
All the things you did before, _

I was 19 the first time. He came home, drunk off his rocker; Havoc came in with him, laughing. He managed to get Roy onto the bed, patted his back, and told him good luck. I thanked him for getting Roy home. Havoc looked at me with pity. "Yeah, Ed…" he began. "Roy's a good guy, you know?" I knew. "So don't get mad when he does stupid things." I might get mad, depending on what it is. "He's just… always gonna be a player. Don't hate the playa, Ed, hate the game." Roy had hickies and no boxers. He had lipstick on his ear and a napkin with a telephone number on it in his pocket.

_But sometimes it all just gets to me.  
I can't take it anymore.  
_

I was 20 when it happened again. He came home high on pot. A woman, my guess to be his mistress of the night, brought him home. She thought I was a brother or nephew or something, and I didn't tell her otherwise. It happened again… three more times before I turned 22 and then I broke. I screamed and cursed and told him it was over. But Roy, with his tentative touches and sweet voice, convinced me he'd never do it again. So I'm waiting here tonight, almost 10 months after that promise, just hoping he didn't let me down again.

_I'll stay with you,  
But remember to  
Be careful what you do,  
Cause I'm not bulletproof.  
_

He came home at 3 in the morning. "EDWARRDD!" he called as the front door slammed. I was in the kitchen, sipping some fresh coffee. "EDDD!" his voice was shaky and loud. "I'm in the kitchen, Roy." I said calmly, getting a mug for him; he needed to sober up a bit. I felt arms around my waist and lips on my neck. He'd forgotten to shave. "You wouldn't believe how hard I was tonight." He was always blunt when he was drugged up or plastered. I stayed silent and poured his coffee. "I got this girl," he nuzzled my ear. "She wanted to take me home." He didn't take the mug when I offered, but instead turned me around so our fronts were touching.

"She was sooo hot, Edward." He ran his fingers through my hair. I clenched my jaw, waiting for him to tell me about the blow job or incredible sex. "She had blonde hair, just like you." His hand went to my side, on the counter, while his right stayed rubbing my cheek. He closed his eyes. "Sooo _hard_, Edward, _so_ hard to walk away from her." Thank the non-existent god he didn't go with her. "You came home for me?" I asked, my voice failing to hide my hope. "I always come home to you."

_In your secret place,  
Staring into space,  
Leaves me feeling frozen.  
_

He hides in his office at work, the one at the end of ours. I don't know why he gets a private office and I don't; he's a general and I'm a colonel, but still. He's got a secretary, Audrey, I think her name is, who is really pretty. She goes into his office a lot. Whenever I go in, he just stares off and avoids paperwork, or stares at the paperwork and avoids me. He's rather… cold, at the office. Which I find almost amusing, considering he's the Flame Alchemist. I'm always the first one home, even if I get home after dark. He says he's working to get a promotion. He has to work late if he wants the higher ups to give it to him. He doesn't need help, he tells me. Audrey often stays after with him.

_I just need to feel, that what we have is real.  
And I'm the one you've chosen.  
_

Al got married at age 20. I guess it's the country life that makes you want to marry young, because I know I do, too. He ended up marrying this girl Lily, who grew up near us. I went alone to the wedding, and had to sit with some other losers who didn't have dates. I had told Mustang, but he didn't want to get on the train and come for a wedding. He said he didn't like weddings because it put the idea in everyone else's head. He was right. And so I was the one who got plastered at Al's wedding.

_I'm trying not to think about  
All the things you did before,  
But sometimes it all just gets to me.  
I'll stay with you,  
But remember to be careful what you do  
Cause I'm not bulletproof.  
_

"What do you mean, 'leaving me'?" His voice was full of confusion, but it was like watching an actor on his last night of a week of plays. He was used to using that voice with me, and I was used to giving into it.

"I just… I don't know what to do anymore, Roy." I sighed. I'd said this a million times in private, a few times to his drunken face, and even talked it out with Al. It was a bit more difficult with a sober, rejected Roy Mustang. "I don't think I can take being so… so emotionally torn, you know?" It was much harder than I thought. I couldn't even look him in the eye. "I can't let you keep doing this to me."

He put his hands on my shoulders and I looked into his pitiful eyes. They looked as if they were full of remorse, but that could've easily been pity. "Edward," He always used my full name to explain something. "I love you." That was a first and I couldn't help but gasp.

_Be careful what you say,  
Be careful what you do.  
I'm not bulletproof._

So I'm sitting here, on the roof, wondering if you love me or if I'm just the one at home. I know you're reading this, Roy. I know you've been reading all of my logs to make sure I'm not cheating on you. They say when you cheat, you think everyone else cheats too, and it makes you nervous. That's why you got so mad when I said I had gone to the bar with Russell. I've never cheated on you, Roy. Except I'm going to do the one thing you could never bring yourself to do. I'm going to use your gun, Roy. Tell me again who's bulletproof.


	12. when you're around

**Motion City Soundtrack… **_**When "You're" Around**_**. Ahhhh so let it begin.**

_Midwest love affair  
I bend when I am bored._

Sometimes it would only be when I returned from a mission. He would tell me to come over when I'd finished giving my report. Of course, I would never turn it down; it was just a fling, or that's what we called it. Whenever I was out of leads or had nothing better to do, I'd go to his office. We'd fooled around a few times on his couch and desk, but nothing too major; he says that I'm too loud to do at work.

_Late night liquor blue  
Will lead me to the floor_.

Sometimes when he's been drinking he calls me. I'd wake up from a dead sleep and answer the phone, my voice raspy and weak. His voice would be loud and his words would slur together. He'd make promises about taking me out the next night or even marrying me. He'd tell me how beautiful I am when I sleep, or even how sexy I am when I pout. And I would tell him to not call me when he's drunk. He would say, "Shut up, beautiful, can't you just take a compliment?" I highly doubts he remembers any of those phone calls.

_Can we fake it?  
Can we make believe?_

Sometimes I pretend we're in a relationship. I think of him as my boyfriend, and we're not fucking- we're making love. I think of the times I'm with him as dates, even if we're just discussing a mission in his office. I bring him coffee for no reason. I've memorized how he likes it; black, one sugar cube, very hot. He smiles when I bring it to him, and I smile back, because you're supposed to give your boyfriend things. When Al and I are on missions, I see the souvenir shops and I'm tempted to get him something. I want to get my boyfriend something.

_I'm so full of love  
It deeply sickens me._

Sometimes I can't stand the sight of Roy Mustang. He flirts with girls all the time, especially the ones with short skirts. He never calls when he says he will. He blames me when things go wrong on missions, like I had planned to have someone destroy my arm. He stands up half an hour after we've had sex and goes to take a shower. He comes back into the room to grab his clothes. He looks at me and tells me not to be late tomorrow or I'll be in trouble. And I'm always 20 minutes early, and he's proud of me, and takes me into his office and kisses me like we're at his place- his hands rush through my hair or rest on my hips, and it's somehow more than about sex. And then I go back to work.

_But all I can do was close my eyes  
And cross my heart and hope to die  
Cause you don't fucking listen  
When I'm around._

Sometimes Roy pretends I'm not there. I sit and cross my arms and wait for him to stop talking about my mistakes. He talks to everyone about me and waits for their reaction. I'm pretty sure he knows that I hate it. He knows I'm still there when he talks. He cracks jokes when Havoc's there and tells Hawkeye how many papers he's done. And when I try to say something, he simply ignores it or says how pointless or useless it is. It's like I'm invisible. I don't think we've ever had a productive conversation with someone else in the room.

_The least you could do is take it back;  
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks._

Sometimes he swears at me. "Dammit, Edward," He said. "Maybe if you'd work on your penmanship I wouldn't have to spend so much time at the office. If you'd use a typewriter like every other soldier, I could easily read it and come home earlier. I mean really, Fullmetal, the typewriter won't squish you. I'm sure if you hop from key to key a report should only take an hour or so." He flipped over the page he'd been reading. "And your grammar needs work as well, shrimp. Maybe growing up in the country did something to that little brain of yours. Can't you even _try_ to make complete sentences? I might spend all night here, so I guess you'll have to stay at the dorms. I can see the headlines now- FLAME ALCHEMIST DIES OF SLEEP DEPRIVATION. Oh, and get me some lunch on your way out. I'm sure a runt like you can carry a burger, right?" He laughed. Prick.

_Cause I can't fucking stand it  
When you're around._

Sometimes I wish he was dead. Of course, there are those other times, when I wish _I_ was dead. There's the womanizing, the blackmail, the secrets, the constant fighting, the flirting, the secrets, the lying, the way he keeps me in the dark, the insults that strike nerves, the goddamn secrets… And I'm just the same- the ignoring, the fighting, the disregard of commands, the secrets, the insubordination, the insults that strike nerves, the lying, the way I try to protect him because everything I love dies… I love… I shouldn't love… him… he… Fuck.

_Midwest aftermath, the rumors start to rise.  
Did I truly do the things that you've described?_

Edward never tells the truth. Our whole unit found out about him and me. He was embarrassed, sure, but not because he was with an older, higher up, _male_ man- but because he was having sex, plain and simple. He told them that we were in a relationship, and had been in one for a while. That's why he memorized how I like my coffee. We had called it a fling. I certainly hope the higher-ups don't hear about this. Edward keeps telling them we'd gone on dates. I've just talked to him about his missions. Teenagers.

_They must hate me, every single one.  
It just sickens them, what I consider fun._

Edward doesn't know about the looks they give me when he leaves. Havoc has asked for my little black book on countless occasions, and then makes jokes whenever Fullmetal is in the room. Hawkeye told me that if I break his hear there will be hell to pay. The others, Falman and Breda and them, they sit and gossip, most likely about me. Poor Fuery is so confused about the whole situation that Havoc had to explain how two guys… well… It's been pretty quiet around the office.

_But all I can do was close my eyes  
and cross my heart and hope to die.  
Cause you don't fucking listen  
When I'm around._

Edward overreacts to everything. I take a tiny stab at his height, and he FREAKS OUT. I say something about how he blew up a building on his latest mission; he accuses me of following him or sending spies. When Havoc or Hawkeye are around, he just stares off into space. I'm forced to make awkward small talk with them, while Edward doodles or sleeps. Or he'll try to say something while I'm on the phone. He says the most pointless and useless things at those times. He disregards all of my commands for when he goes on missions, and then complains about his funding.

_The least you could do is take it back;  
All the vicious remarks and verbal attacks._

Edward needs to work on his attitude. "I mean, if there's a guy hell bent on ruining the military, don't tell me he's got a red stone! Dammit, Mustang, I spent 5 weeks in that stupid town and all I got were bruises and more questions. Doesn't it bother you, Bastard, that I come home with medical wraps all over me? Some kind of caring commanding officer you are; you bark orders at me while I'm practically bleeding to death. And another thing, it's not like I'm _trying _to spend all my funding, it just happens. So don't get your panties in a bunch, you asshole, I'll get my report in tomorrow." He's a procrastinator and a bad liar. "But I might have time to come over tonight, so try and stay awake if you can, old man." Brat.

_Cause I can't fucking stand it  
When you're around.  
_

Edward doesn't need to be in a relationship right now. He's got his brother to think of. So I try to distance myself from him. I have secrets, I date women, I sent him on missions, I keep secrets, I insult him until he's about to break, I flirt constantly, I have secrets, I pick fights with him, I blackmail him, I don't tell him my secrets, I lie, I keep him in the dark, and I never talk about secrets. I hope that one day he'll tell me to fuck off because he's found someone better than me. I can't wait for that day. I dread that day.

_No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around._

Maybe if he'd respect me a bit more I'd call him sir every once in a while. Maybe if he'd stop keeping things from me I wouldn't freak out when others tell me. Maybe he'll get tired of me and kick me out for good. Maybe he'll propose to me. Maybe Roy will become fuhrer. Maybe I will be a great uncle for Al's kids. Maybe Roy and I will adopt. Maybe I'll leave the military and start a new life with the name of Eric Edwards, a man who raises llamas and chickens. Maybe I'll stop denying how much I need Roy Mustang.

_No I can't fucking stand it, when you're around_

Maybe if he called me sir every once in a while I'd show some respect towards him. Maybe I'll truly lose my mind. Maybe if he grew up a little I'd tell him more things. Maybe he'll decide I'm too old and go after someone else. Maybe he'll confess his love for me and when I'm Fuhrer I can make a law saying that people of the same gender can marry. Maybe I'll die of old age before Edward turns 25. Maybe I'll leave the country and become my alter-ego, Ray Montag, the man who raises chickens and llamas. Maybe I'll stop denying how much I really need Edward Elric.

**Boredom kills… ahh sorry for this lame writing. This has been in my head for a while. I was originally going to continue Sickly Minded, but this got in the way when writers block struck that story. So… hope you're having a great summer. It's sunny here in Arizona, but that's how it is. Sorry for not updating in a while, I'm gonna get a job soon, I think, and I'll be free nights to write. GIVE ME IDEAS FOR STORIES hahaha. No, but at least tell me what to update, or I'll just do one shots or these song fics. LATERZZZ!!**


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